God is good.

So it's been forever since I've written anything! Lots of exciting things are happening!

Everyone knows I am no patient person but when you trust in God and pray, good things happen! Brooke and Brian just had their first baby Meritt Grace. She's beautiful! I was never into the whole baby thing but now that some of my close friends are having them it's so amazing to me that their children have their characteristics and personality. Little things about their face match up with their mom or dad and it's just so adorable. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have a child but what a miracle!

Memphis was always a place I despised and I blamed my ex for basically making me move here. Now the reason I came here isn't the reason I'm staying here and this city is really growing on me. I've made friendships that I never expected to have and know I can count on them for anything. I am blessed to be surrounded by hilarious people everyday!

My parents just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. How amazing is that? Being with the same person for 50 years and still loving each other and serving each other every day! My parents are two of the most amazing people in my life. They serve God whole heartedly and take care of their family like no one I've ever seen. I make fun of my mom for calling over and over again until I answer but secretly it's nice to know that she loves me so much that she worries when I don't answer the phone immediately. Recently she sent me a letter in the mail with this quote "If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives, be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies, succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you, be honest and frank anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow, do good anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway." Without her daily encouragement and love I wouldn't be the person I am today.

My niece Brittany recently got engaged to her long time boyfriend Steve! Congrats to them, can't wait to help her with the girly wedding things she hates :)

I have complaints... but in the grand scheme of things life is great and God is good.

I Survived Spring Break 2011.

Sorry for no blogging lately. I feel very uninspired. I'm working on it.

My thoughts

Today has been one of those days... I have had a really great time on my last few days off and am now dreading going back to the stress of work.

Some days I'm really happy single because of the freedom that comes along with it and other days I really wish I had a nice man to share my days with. I've gone back and forth for a few months now and I'm to the point where I want a boyfriend. I needed some single time so I'm glad I've had it but now it's time for it to go away! It's really tough being patient when most of my friends are married, getting married, in relationships, or having babies! I am so happy they found what they were looking for and excited for their lives to grow into having families and being amazing parents to some lucky little ones! I just get discouraged some days wanting to find my prince charming! I know God has someone special picked out for me and is getting him ready as well as getting me ready to find him!

So I had to look back to God and was reminded of a great quote from the good old Bible. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" -Psalm 37:4

I know I sound sooooooo selfish right now! I have amazing friends and family and should not be having feel sorry for myself days but I'm guilty.

I started Weight Watchers and am going to start eating better so that I can look and feel my absolute best. When someone tells me "you look pretty" I've gotten to the point that I don't believe them because I don't see it in the mirror! I've also started working out again. Any encouraging words are welcome! I want my old body back! We are going on a fun spring break beach trip in March so I've got some work ahead of me. Very excited about the group that's going and how much fun we will have!

Forgiveness

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty happy and upbeat person. This is a little deep, hope you can handle it :)

I can't sleep so here goes nothing. For some reason the word forgiveness keeps popping into my head. I feel like God is telling me something so the more I thought about it and prayed about it the more I realized there is a person in my life who I pretend I have forgiven but up until today have actually been harboring very bad feelings toward.

Forgiveness is such a strong word.
for·give  (fr-gv, fôr-)

v. for·gave (-gv), for·giv·en (-gvn), for·giv·ing, for·gives

v.tr.

1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.

2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).

 

Pretty hardcore huh? There's a saying "forgive and forget." I'm just not sure I believe in this saying. I feel that forgiveness is definitely something you can give without actually forgetting. The person who hurt me is someone that I can forgive, but I can't forget the things he did to me. I need to remember the experience to learn and grow from it, remembering can even deliver me from repeating the same mistakes. Who really knows how people end up hurting each other? God knows how many people I have hurt in the past. We're human, we make mistakes.  This verse is an amazing testament to that.

 

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:13

 

So after reading this verse all I could think about was how many times we hurt Jesus when we sin and fail him. It puts it into perspective... if Jesus can forgive me for sinning everyday and still love me unconditionally how can I not forgive an imperfect person?

 

I realized today that my bitterness has kept me from really moving on in my life. I've made decisions I wouldn't normally make and I've treated people differently than I would have normally treated them. I have lost trust in my heart, people have to earn it now. There's a wall up around me. I try to assume the worst sometimes so that I don't feel the affects later like I have in the past. I pretend to be okay when I'm really not.

 

It's been a year now since this person hurt me. It's time for me to forgive him, really forgive him. I know that the things that happened were for the best. I'm actually better off alone than with him. So I've prayed and I'm forgiving him. I won't forget but I won't be bitter any longer. This person is in my past and will stay there forever. My life can only get better! :)

 

If you have someone in your life you haven't forgiven (I'm sure we all can think of at least one) pray about it... God will help you let it go. A weight will lift off your shoulders when you do. There's bigger and better things to think about and put energy into. Have faith and God will give you what you need!

 

Prayers are welcome during this time!

Plans?

Just had some random thoughts today... it's funny to me how life turns out so different than you plan. I remember as a senior in high school how I thought about wanting to get married but how I'd never get married before I was twenty five because I wanted to know who I was before I decided to spend my whole life with one person.

Those thoughts are insane to me now! Why was I thinking of marriage in high school? And I'm twenty seven and even though I obviously do not have someone I want to marry, marriage is not something I see myself entering into anytime soon. I know some really great couples that got married right out of college or even younger and then I know others who are already divorced. Different people are meant to do different things and I'm so thankful I didn't subject myself to the pressures of getting married right out of college. I would've married the wrong person! I moved to Memphis only to find that my prince charming wanted me to be everything that I wasn't.

What's even crazier is I'm twenty seven and I know the things I look for... but do I really know what will work? Nope no idea. Haha. The more people I meet the more I realize what I want and don't want and it's a really exciting adventure!

As a freshman in college I thought I wanted to be a psychology major. Then I hated basic psychology. lol. So I tried all different types of classes and figured out that the major I wanted to do wasn't available at the college I was attending. So I transferred and found my calling to fashion major only to land myself as a manager in retail which is not at all what I expected. I wanted to live in a big city and be a buyer at a corporate office. Now I just want my own little amazing boutique.

I've realized that I'm a person who likes not knowing what will happen. I like making last minute crazy decisions and moving around when things get uncomfortable or even boring. I like adventure, not sky diving type of adventure but the uncertainty of what the future holds and the potential it has!

So I figure when I make plans and decide what I want, God probably laughs :) I change and grow every year and I'm still trying to figure it all out.

This seems appropriate! "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11

:)

Dave Barnes is coming to Memphis!!! If you've never heard of him, check him out! He has a new Christmas cd and you can get it here

"Christmas tonight" features Hillary Scott from Lady Antebellum and it's my fave!

Let me know if you wanna go see him with me on December 17th! WOOOO.



My "Sister"

So today I realized how thankful I am for my niece Brittany. Let me start with a little background.

Brittany and I were born 4 months apart and were basically attached at the hip for most of our lives. People used to think we were twins even though we look nothing like twins lol. I'm brown eyed with brown hair and she's blonde with green eyes. I was always a little chubby and had the shortest legs ever while Brittany was a toothpick with long legs. So she was a lot like a sister to me since my actual sisters were more like additional parents due to the fact that they were much older than me. Brittany used to bite me so hard she left teeth marks when I told on her for doing things she shouldn't do. She was the bad child and I always told on her for everything. Not much changed in high school when she ran with the more rebellious crowd and I was the goody good. We didn't get along most of the time.

After graduating high school our relationship changed quite a bit. We started to talk more often due to the distance between us and I would say we started to appreciate each other much more. Then after my sophmore year of college I decided to transfer to the University of Arkansas and we became roomates. We had a lot of fun and Brittany knew all my quirks and I knew hers. She said I weeze when I laugh too hard and was with me the first time I ever used a debit card at the gas station which was an adventure lol. Remember that Britt? And it drove me crazy how she constantly bit her lip and cleaned up constantly! Then there's her making fun of my childhood obsession with Randy Travis and me making fun of her grown up obsession with Britney Spears! HAHA! Again we clashed a little due to our differences and ended up parting ways as roomates but still remained close. Then I moved away to Memphis and have seen her less and less over the past few years. Through it all, our love for Fayetteville and the Razorbacks has kept me visiting her as often as possible!

So today I predicted her reaction to something and she did exactly what I knew she would do about 20 minutes later. And it made me laugh...... and then on the way to work I was thinking how cool it is to have someone I know sooo well and who knows me just as well. We've always been there for each other through everything and she's the first person I call to tell the good news and help me through the bad.

So I probably don't say it enough so I wanted to use this space to tell Brittany thanks for always being such a great friend and "sister" to me! I love you Brittany!



I've been having some health issues lately that I'm not going to get into... but I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and my awesome mom is taking me because I hate going to the doctor! I have some nervousness so please keep me in your prayers. I know God is in control and won't give me anything I can't handle!

Another year older!

Well last week I turned 27. I'm all about birthdays. I think everyone should feel special on their birthday! I like to drag mine out for about a week haha. So I celebrated several times. I'll post pics at the end.

So having my birthday got me thinking about this time last year. Last year the night before my birthday my ex and I got into a huge fight. So then on my birthday he didn't call me (YES on my BIRTHday) and I cried a lot. In the five years we were together, there were several birthdays ruined. Then I started thinking about all the special events in my life. Yeah he pretty much ruined all of them.

So this 27th birthday I'm happy to no longer have a person who likes to ruin the special days in my life. I have new and amazing friends that made me feel special on my birthday :) And I also have a great set of parents who still send me flowers on every birthday. Can't beat parents like that!!!

I mean really, strangers and people I'm not great friends with paid more attention to my birthday than my ex did. That's very eye opening...

So yes I am guilty (like most girls) of staying with the wrong guy for too long and letting him treat me badly. I deserve much better. So I have no idea what it's like to be in a healthy relationship with someone who treats me well. And although I'm enjoying this single life... I really look forward to meeting a guy who will treat me the way I deserve because let's be real here, I'm a lot of fun and a great catch :). I love to make my man happy but what's it like when he returns the favor? Um yeah, pretty awesome! Can't wait.

So girls take it from someone who knows. If you have a feeling or a doubt, don't waste anymore time! Get out now! Those moments you are wasting on the wrong one could be spent finding the right one! God sent me a lot of signs, I just wasn't willing to listen to them.

So here's to lessons learned! And birthday pics :)

This is from the first celebration haha

This is the second that was on my actual birthday!

Then Friday night had nothing to do with my birthday but we went to the Memphis game, my first!