Forgiveness

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty happy and upbeat person. This is a little deep, hope you can handle it :)

I can't sleep so here goes nothing. For some reason the word forgiveness keeps popping into my head. I feel like God is telling me something so the more I thought about it and prayed about it the more I realized there is a person in my life who I pretend I have forgiven but up until today have actually been harboring very bad feelings toward.

Forgiveness is such a strong word.
for·give  (fr-gv, fôr-)

v. for·gave (-gv), for·giv·en (-gvn), for·giv·ing, for·gives

v.tr.

1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.

2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).

 

Pretty hardcore huh? There's a saying "forgive and forget." I'm just not sure I believe in this saying. I feel that forgiveness is definitely something you can give without actually forgetting. The person who hurt me is someone that I can forgive, but I can't forget the things he did to me. I need to remember the experience to learn and grow from it, remembering can even deliver me from repeating the same mistakes. Who really knows how people end up hurting each other? God knows how many people I have hurt in the past. We're human, we make mistakes.  This verse is an amazing testament to that.

 

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:13

 

So after reading this verse all I could think about was how many times we hurt Jesus when we sin and fail him. It puts it into perspective... if Jesus can forgive me for sinning everyday and still love me unconditionally how can I not forgive an imperfect person?

 

I realized today that my bitterness has kept me from really moving on in my life. I've made decisions I wouldn't normally make and I've treated people differently than I would have normally treated them. I have lost trust in my heart, people have to earn it now. There's a wall up around me. I try to assume the worst sometimes so that I don't feel the affects later like I have in the past. I pretend to be okay when I'm really not.

 

It's been a year now since this person hurt me. It's time for me to forgive him, really forgive him. I know that the things that happened were for the best. I'm actually better off alone than with him. So I've prayed and I'm forgiving him. I won't forget but I won't be bitter any longer. This person is in my past and will stay there forever. My life can only get better! :)

 

If you have someone in your life you haven't forgiven (I'm sure we all can think of at least one) pray about it... God will help you let it go. A weight will lift off your shoulders when you do. There's bigger and better things to think about and put energy into. Have faith and God will give you what you need!

 

Prayers are welcome during this time!

Plans?

Just had some random thoughts today... it's funny to me how life turns out so different than you plan. I remember as a senior in high school how I thought about wanting to get married but how I'd never get married before I was twenty five because I wanted to know who I was before I decided to spend my whole life with one person.

Those thoughts are insane to me now! Why was I thinking of marriage in high school? And I'm twenty seven and even though I obviously do not have someone I want to marry, marriage is not something I see myself entering into anytime soon. I know some really great couples that got married right out of college or even younger and then I know others who are already divorced. Different people are meant to do different things and I'm so thankful I didn't subject myself to the pressures of getting married right out of college. I would've married the wrong person! I moved to Memphis only to find that my prince charming wanted me to be everything that I wasn't.

What's even crazier is I'm twenty seven and I know the things I look for... but do I really know what will work? Nope no idea. Haha. The more people I meet the more I realize what I want and don't want and it's a really exciting adventure!

As a freshman in college I thought I wanted to be a psychology major. Then I hated basic psychology. lol. So I tried all different types of classes and figured out that the major I wanted to do wasn't available at the college I was attending. So I transferred and found my calling to fashion major only to land myself as a manager in retail which is not at all what I expected. I wanted to live in a big city and be a buyer at a corporate office. Now I just want my own little amazing boutique.

I've realized that I'm a person who likes not knowing what will happen. I like making last minute crazy decisions and moving around when things get uncomfortable or even boring. I like adventure, not sky diving type of adventure but the uncertainty of what the future holds and the potential it has!

So I figure when I make plans and decide what I want, God probably laughs :) I change and grow every year and I'm still trying to figure it all out.

This seems appropriate! "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11

:)

Dave Barnes is coming to Memphis!!! If you've never heard of him, check him out! He has a new Christmas cd and you can get it here

"Christmas tonight" features Hillary Scott from Lady Antebellum and it's my fave!

Let me know if you wanna go see him with me on December 17th! WOOOO.