Forgiveness

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a pretty happy and upbeat person. This is a little deep, hope you can handle it :)

I can't sleep so here goes nothing. For some reason the word forgiveness keeps popping into my head. I feel like God is telling me something so the more I thought about it and prayed about it the more I realized there is a person in my life who I pretend I have forgiven but up until today have actually been harboring very bad feelings toward.

Forgiveness is such a strong word.
for·give  (fr-gv, fôr-)

v. for·gave (-gv), for·giv·en (-gvn), for·giv·ing, for·gives

v.tr.

1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.

2. To renounce anger or resentment against.

3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).

 

Pretty hardcore huh? There's a saying "forgive and forget." I'm just not sure I believe in this saying. I feel that forgiveness is definitely something you can give without actually forgetting. The person who hurt me is someone that I can forgive, but I can't forget the things he did to me. I need to remember the experience to learn and grow from it, remembering can even deliver me from repeating the same mistakes. Who really knows how people end up hurting each other? God knows how many people I have hurt in the past. We're human, we make mistakes.  This verse is an amazing testament to that.

 

"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Colossians 3:13

 

So after reading this verse all I could think about was how many times we hurt Jesus when we sin and fail him. It puts it into perspective... if Jesus can forgive me for sinning everyday and still love me unconditionally how can I not forgive an imperfect person?

 

I realized today that my bitterness has kept me from really moving on in my life. I've made decisions I wouldn't normally make and I've treated people differently than I would have normally treated them. I have lost trust in my heart, people have to earn it now. There's a wall up around me. I try to assume the worst sometimes so that I don't feel the affects later like I have in the past. I pretend to be okay when I'm really not.

 

It's been a year now since this person hurt me. It's time for me to forgive him, really forgive him. I know that the things that happened were for the best. I'm actually better off alone than with him. So I've prayed and I'm forgiving him. I won't forget but I won't be bitter any longer. This person is in my past and will stay there forever. My life can only get better! :)

 

If you have someone in your life you haven't forgiven (I'm sure we all can think of at least one) pray about it... God will help you let it go. A weight will lift off your shoulders when you do. There's bigger and better things to think about and put energy into. Have faith and God will give you what you need!

 

Prayers are welcome during this time!

Plans?

Just had some random thoughts today... it's funny to me how life turns out so different than you plan. I remember as a senior in high school how I thought about wanting to get married but how I'd never get married before I was twenty five because I wanted to know who I was before I decided to spend my whole life with one person.

Those thoughts are insane to me now! Why was I thinking of marriage in high school? And I'm twenty seven and even though I obviously do not have someone I want to marry, marriage is not something I see myself entering into anytime soon. I know some really great couples that got married right out of college or even younger and then I know others who are already divorced. Different people are meant to do different things and I'm so thankful I didn't subject myself to the pressures of getting married right out of college. I would've married the wrong person! I moved to Memphis only to find that my prince charming wanted me to be everything that I wasn't.

What's even crazier is I'm twenty seven and I know the things I look for... but do I really know what will work? Nope no idea. Haha. The more people I meet the more I realize what I want and don't want and it's a really exciting adventure!

As a freshman in college I thought I wanted to be a psychology major. Then I hated basic psychology. lol. So I tried all different types of classes and figured out that the major I wanted to do wasn't available at the college I was attending. So I transferred and found my calling to fashion major only to land myself as a manager in retail which is not at all what I expected. I wanted to live in a big city and be a buyer at a corporate office. Now I just want my own little amazing boutique.

I've realized that I'm a person who likes not knowing what will happen. I like making last minute crazy decisions and moving around when things get uncomfortable or even boring. I like adventure, not sky diving type of adventure but the uncertainty of what the future holds and the potential it has!

So I figure when I make plans and decide what I want, God probably laughs :) I change and grow every year and I'm still trying to figure it all out.

This seems appropriate! "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11

:)

Dave Barnes is coming to Memphis!!! If you've never heard of him, check him out! He has a new Christmas cd and you can get it here

"Christmas tonight" features Hillary Scott from Lady Antebellum and it's my fave!

Let me know if you wanna go see him with me on December 17th! WOOOO.



My "Sister"

So today I realized how thankful I am for my niece Brittany. Let me start with a little background.

Brittany and I were born 4 months apart and were basically attached at the hip for most of our lives. People used to think we were twins even though we look nothing like twins lol. I'm brown eyed with brown hair and she's blonde with green eyes. I was always a little chubby and had the shortest legs ever while Brittany was a toothpick with long legs. So she was a lot like a sister to me since my actual sisters were more like additional parents due to the fact that they were much older than me. Brittany used to bite me so hard she left teeth marks when I told on her for doing things she shouldn't do. She was the bad child and I always told on her for everything. Not much changed in high school when she ran with the more rebellious crowd and I was the goody good. We didn't get along most of the time.

After graduating high school our relationship changed quite a bit. We started to talk more often due to the distance between us and I would say we started to appreciate each other much more. Then after my sophmore year of college I decided to transfer to the University of Arkansas and we became roomates. We had a lot of fun and Brittany knew all my quirks and I knew hers. She said I weeze when I laugh too hard and was with me the first time I ever used a debit card at the gas station which was an adventure lol. Remember that Britt? And it drove me crazy how she constantly bit her lip and cleaned up constantly! Then there's her making fun of my childhood obsession with Randy Travis and me making fun of her grown up obsession with Britney Spears! HAHA! Again we clashed a little due to our differences and ended up parting ways as roomates but still remained close. Then I moved away to Memphis and have seen her less and less over the past few years. Through it all, our love for Fayetteville and the Razorbacks has kept me visiting her as often as possible!

So today I predicted her reaction to something and she did exactly what I knew she would do about 20 minutes later. And it made me laugh...... and then on the way to work I was thinking how cool it is to have someone I know sooo well and who knows me just as well. We've always been there for each other through everything and she's the first person I call to tell the good news and help me through the bad.

So I probably don't say it enough so I wanted to use this space to tell Brittany thanks for always being such a great friend and "sister" to me! I love you Brittany!



I've been having some health issues lately that I'm not going to get into... but I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and my awesome mom is taking me because I hate going to the doctor! I have some nervousness so please keep me in your prayers. I know God is in control and won't give me anything I can't handle!

Another year older!

Well last week I turned 27. I'm all about birthdays. I think everyone should feel special on their birthday! I like to drag mine out for about a week haha. So I celebrated several times. I'll post pics at the end.

So having my birthday got me thinking about this time last year. Last year the night before my birthday my ex and I got into a huge fight. So then on my birthday he didn't call me (YES on my BIRTHday) and I cried a lot. In the five years we were together, there were several birthdays ruined. Then I started thinking about all the special events in my life. Yeah he pretty much ruined all of them.

So this 27th birthday I'm happy to no longer have a person who likes to ruin the special days in my life. I have new and amazing friends that made me feel special on my birthday :) And I also have a great set of parents who still send me flowers on every birthday. Can't beat parents like that!!!

I mean really, strangers and people I'm not great friends with paid more attention to my birthday than my ex did. That's very eye opening...

So yes I am guilty (like most girls) of staying with the wrong guy for too long and letting him treat me badly. I deserve much better. So I have no idea what it's like to be in a healthy relationship with someone who treats me well. And although I'm enjoying this single life... I really look forward to meeting a guy who will treat me the way I deserve because let's be real here, I'm a lot of fun and a great catch :). I love to make my man happy but what's it like when he returns the favor? Um yeah, pretty awesome! Can't wait.

So girls take it from someone who knows. If you have a feeling or a doubt, don't waste anymore time! Get out now! Those moments you are wasting on the wrong one could be spent finding the right one! God sent me a lot of signs, I just wasn't willing to listen to them.

So here's to lessons learned! And birthday pics :)

This is from the first celebration haha

This is the second that was on my actual birthday!

Then Friday night had nothing to do with my birthday but we went to the Memphis game, my first!



It's been a while...

Hi friends! Sorry it's been so long... I've been living a very busy life lately!

I've had some fun times with friends and here are some photos from the last few weeks :)

Night out downtown!

Me, Bailey, and Debbie celebrating Deb's birthday!

This is Debbie and she's amazing! She helps me out at work daily! 

Started the evening at my fave restaurant HAPPY MEXICAN and ended it at Bailey's house :)

Me & my new friend Sarah!

haha hat switch

On Friday I went to a volunteer event with Target! We madeover a school library in partnership with The Heart of America Foundation. Amazing day with some great volunteers and sweet children! We donated books and redid their library completely. Also did some landscaping and painting outside. Looks amazing! Love volunteering for good causes, nothing quite like it!

Went downtown for Halloween. I was a Hog fan, not a huge stretch I know :)

Very thankful for all the new friends that have been sent my way lately! They're all amazing!

You can make fun if you'd like but I love Taylor Swift's new album, I would recommend it to anyone! Even though I've moved on and know we are better apart the song "Last Kiss" takes me back and makes me a little sad for things that have happened in the past... "I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you and you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in the weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind... all that I know is I don't know how to be something you miss. Never thought we'd have a last kiss, never imagined we'd end like this." Sad lyrics huh? I know... but God's my rock! He's got my best interest at heart and a prince charming is out there somewhere who has a strong heart for God as well!

This is becoming a novel but.... speaking of me being wayyy behind all my other friends haha! Babies babies babies! Everyone is having babies... I'm obviously not at a point in my life where I could imagine having kids, but some of my best married friends are expecting little buddles of joy! My friends Jennie and Landon are expecting very soon and Brooke and Brian are only 8 weeks along, so excited for them!

I'm completely obsessed with fur this fall and this is soon to be mine!

Oh how I love Forever 21!

My birthday is in a couple weeks on November 11th! We are going on a group camping trip this weekend to start the celebration early! Soooooo pumped :)

I'll try to post something again a little sooner than last time! God bless!

Giving it to God

Oh by the way. God, my life's in your hands! ‎He sure does know better than I do.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

Rewind... Nashvegas :)

Ok so we are saving the cabin thing for another weekend and a large group of people. Tunica here we come! Watch out!

Since I never told you guys about my amazing weekend in Nashvegas I'm going to do that now. My friend Kelli in Nashville is actually the inspiration for me starting this blog. She has an amazing one "The Kegley Family" and I finally met her oh so cute baby boy Connor. I stayed with my tall and beautiful friend Lauren!

We were in Nashvegas to celebrate another beautiful friend named Kayla who has found her soul mate and will be the most fabulous bride ever!!! Two of Kayla's friends came down from Indiana and Maryland. I met Kayla through my friend Kelli from high school (they were roomates freshman year) and at some point along the way Lauren, my other friend from high school, and Kayla became friends. What a great group of girls!

We started off the weekend with a night on the town and some dessert at the melting pot! Amazing! We ended the night here with Kayla doing this :)

She was amazing at it. Rode it like a champ! haha

So on Saturday we went to the Pancake Pantry which I would recommend to EVERYONE. You HAVE to go there. We stood outside in a long line for a while!

Then me and my new northerner friend Brittany shared these!!!

So on Saturday night we had dinner at Cantina Laredo... and Tin Roof after!!!

All in all it was a great weekend... saw old friends and made some new ones! So excited for Kayla!